050. How to Get out of the PAIN from Living a TRANSACTIONAL LIFE | The 5 Laws from THE GO-GIVER Book

Dive into success with Dr. Ann Tsung in this episode. Today she will be unpacking the Five Laws of Success from “The Go-Giver” book – the real keys to prosperity.

Learn how giving without expecting back aligns with your impact and compensation. This episode will guide you through the power of prioritizing others, being true to yourself, and the sweet spot of giving and receiving.  Break free from the chains of a transactional life and discover the liberating journey to authentic living – because true fulfillment thrives beyond mere transactions. Tune in now for invaluable insights that’ll reshape how you tackle life at its finest!

Key Points from This Episode:

  1. Five laws of success based on the book “The Go-Giver.”
  2. How much “value” do you have to provide for other people without expecting anything in return?
  3. The amount of “compensation” you receive is directly tied to the impact you have.
  4. The law of influence: Keep other people’s interests in mind ahead of your own.
  5. You have to be “authentic” and true to yourself.
  6. In order to be an effective giver, you have to be open to “receive.”

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  1. Think of giving back to others without expecting anything in return.

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50 - How to Get out of the PAIN from Living a TRANSACTIONAL LIFE | The 5 Laws from THE GO-GIVER Book

00:06 Announcer If you’re struggling with your vitality, energy, mood, focus, or sleep, this podcast is for you. Your host Dr. Ann Tsung, ER doctor and aerospace flight surgeon, will help you reach for the stars and remove the barriers or blockades that have been holding you back from living your best life. If you’ve been challenged by your health, relationships, or productivity, then it’s time for a breakthrough. So here’s your host Dr. Ann Tsung.

00:42 Dr. Ann Tsung Hello. Welcome to It’s Not Rocket Science Show. I am your host Dr. Ann Tsung. Have you ever cooked, and you expect your significant other to do the dishes? Or what about I’ve been doing the laundry for the past few days, and the least you could do is fold the laundry, et cetera? Or what about I’ve been feeding the baby all day, and you need to do those other tasks like cleaning the bottles and sterilizing the bottles, et cetera? That’s happened to me many times. That has been an example of a transactional relationship. It causes a lot of resistance, a lot of negativities when you have to split this evenly. Some other examples are, like, you’ve been picking up some extra shifts more than usual, and people ask you to pick up more extra shifts, you’re like, “No, I’ve already done my share. I’m not doing it. It’s other people’s turn. Or perhaps you have created something — a product, a service — and you think it’s worth a certain amount, and there’s no way you’re going to be giving it out for free for anything, or your time.

01:46 I recently read a book called The Go-Giver. It was actually gifted to me by the Kekoa Team, the investor agent team I’ve been working with on real estate ventures. I loved it. I loved it because it lists out five laws of success. Basically, it allows you to achieve stratospheric success with the 5 laws. This is what I’m going to discuss in this episode: the 5 laws. What I mean stratospheric success, I mean it’s not the success like you can make lots of money. You achieved a lot of things, and you’re not happy. I’m talking about that you’re happy and fulfilled and joyful throughout the entire journey and process. And in return, the success just comes to you. There’s different definitions of success. But for me, the definition of success is that I’m able to have the five freedoms: the time freedom, financial freedom, location freedom, emotional freedom, and vitality freedom. I’m able to do the things I want with whoever I want for however long I want. Just going anywhere we want essentially and with joy, with happiness. And if I achieve success and I don’t have my family and my loved ones, my friends nearby, then that is not successful. Or if I feel negativity, feeling resistance the whole way, that is not successful.

03:11 I want to bring up the 5 laws. Those 5 laws are the Law of Value, the Law of Compensation, the Law of Influence, the Law of Authenticity, and the Law of Receptivity. We’re going to dive into each one of them. The first one is the Law of Value. How much value can you provide to other people without asking for things back? If you need to teach yourself or acquire skills, more and more skills, in order to provide value, then that’s what you do. For me, I provide value by going to medical school, emergency medicine residency. I add a value to myself by going through a critical care fellowship, and further value by going to an aerospace medicine fellowship. Now, since working at NASA, I am an ER critical care and aerospace medicine trained, so I believe that my value definitely has increased in terms of my skill level. And so my workplace is going to value me a bit more than if I didn’t try to go for additional skills or didn’t go for additional experiences or projects, et cetera.

04:24 You also don’t want to think about, “Okay. I provide value, but you need to compensate me for this much.” Because that’s transactional. Again, you want to provide value. As an example, I offer one-hour free coaching session to anybody who goes through the application process and actually completes the coaching call form. It’s an extensive coaching call form. I provide my time, 60 minutes of my time, complimentary to get you to realize your dreams. I am not expecting any compensation package. It’s just something that I offer to anyone who wants to go through it, who wants to apply. So if you ever want to do it, feel free to go to itsnotrocketscienceshow.com or anntsungmd.com. The application for the 60-minute coaching is right there. I am not expecting anything back, though I hope I can provide you some value after 60 minutes in the direction of where you want to go in life.

05:18 The second law is Law of Compensation. You can provide tremendous value, though the amount of compensation you’ll get is the impact that you have. As an example, I can coach people one hour at a time, one person at a time, which I love because that’s a direct connection time. Though if I can record the course — make it asynchronous, spread it around the world so people can learn it as much as they want, anytime they want — it’ll increase my impact to the world to share what I’ve learned. And in return, that is going to provide me with increased compensation. That’s an example.

06:04 If you are just doing one post at a time, or talking to one person at a time, or if you’re not putting yourself out there, like my Instagram, like YouTube, if I do not SEO optimize it, if I don’t spread the word, then people are not going to know. You’re not achieving as much impact. It’s great that you can touch one person at a time. But wouldn’t it be great that you can touch a ton of people at a time? Another example is the water project I was a part of. It was Charity Water. I donated enough for a complete water project to one community, like a school, so that it can impact that specific community as a whole years to come. Instead of perhaps just giving them water, bringing them water, you set up a water filter to have a large impact. That’s sustainable, if that makes sense.

06:58 Now, the third law is the Law of Influence. What that means is that you keep other people’s interests in mind ahead of yours. That’s what I was talking about in the very beginning. I had to change my mindset when we’re discussing roles and responsibilities with my husband. Instead of being transactional, like, “I do this. You do this. Well, I’ve been grocery shopping and meal prepping, and you’ve just been working,” really think about the other person’s interests ahead. I changed my mind. I said that my husband has been very busy working. He’s juggling trying to help me with the baby, with other tasks in the home, and have to work at the same time. For me, I decided to hire more nanny hours to decrease our stress so that he could feel productive at work. Because for him, it’s a huge stressor too that he’s getting easily distracted and not as productive at work just because we don’t have a nanny. By thinking for him, hiring nanny, increasing hours, it’s really worked out a lot better for our relationship, and also, relationship not as a mom and dad but as a husband and wife. We sometimes forget that. Because when we’re in the transactional relationship, we forget to give love, to give affection, to just share ourselves and our presence to our loved ones like we did before maybe when the baby’s here or before during our first year or second year of dating. That’s the third law, the Law of Influence. Try to put other people’s interests ahead of yourself.

08:41 The fourth law is Law of Authenticity. What that means is that you really have to be true to yourself. This podcast is a perfect example of Law of Authenticity. In the first episode, I told you that I will give my full authentic self to you. And the stories I tell, they’re all true stories of mine. I do not care anymore what other people think of me, or I don’t care that they may not see myself as worthy as I would have liked perhaps. Because right now, my self-worth is intrinsic. I know my worth. As long as I’m authentic, then I am worthy. I don’t have to do anything. And when you share your authentic self, share your true beliefs, then it just glows. You have nothing to be afraid of. You’re not hiding anything. It is the truth, and there’s no resistance. It’s not hard at all. It’s not hard anymore. It takes work. But after, you can be your full authentic self. It’s freedom. It’s a weight off your shoulders.

09:45 Another example of authenticity that has to do with family, for me and my mom, after I went to the Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within. Before that, my mom and I really did not have a good relationship. We argued a lot. We fought a lot. I had a poor tone. We had different beliefs, though I put my mask down essentially after the event. I wrote out how I felt essentially, why I felt the way I felt. I thanked her. I forgave her. I thanked her. I apologized for myself and my behavior. That is an example of being my true authentic self. When I gave her the letter, she read it. She told me that all of the sacrifices that she had made have been worth it.

10:31 For those of you guys who don’t know, she divorced my dad when I was born. She came to the US. She would work up to seven days a week, sometimes two to three in the morning, working night shifts in the restaurants. She worked at IHOP. She worked at Chinese restaurants seven days a week to make money to raise me. And so she has definitely sacrificed a lot. But when I finally put down my pride and said everything on my mind, shared my feelings with her, it was like 30 plus, 32 years of weight and resistance and negativity completely freed from my shoulders. That allowed me to move forward, look forward, stop looking backwards at what I would like to achieve and to create a new relationship with my mom. I think the Law of Authenticity, to me, actually, is the most powerful. Because you have to be yourself, be comfortable with yourself, before you can give to others really.

11:30 The last law, the fifth law, the Law of Receptivity. In order to be an effective giver, you have to be open to receive. As an example, a lot of times, I love to treat my friends out to food or family out to vacation perhaps, an experience. Though when they want to give me something back, like, “Hey, let me pay for this meal,” a lot of times — this just happened like two weeks ago — I feel uncomfortable about it. Even though I have provided this experience, yet I’m uncomfortable accepting somebody treating me out to a meal. It doesn’t make any sense. I think I just grew up in an Asian household that you want to treat people out. You want to give. And I just felt uncomfortable.

12:19 This is something I’m still working on: to be open to receiving. It’s a gift that you can give to others instead of denying others the joy and the happiness of giving you something, if that makes sense. Think about it like just doing something very simple. If I cooked something and I offered my husband, like, “Hey, are you hungry? Do you want to try a bite,” and he’s like, no. It’s happened a few times. And so even just saying that is a form of rejection. So if somebody offers you something, like, “Hey, do you want to try it? Hey, do you want to go to this with me,” or, “Do you mind to take a look at this or something like that?” I don’t know. Just say yes. There’s importance in saying no depending on how much time it takes. But if somebody is trying to gift you something, try to say yes. Give them the gift of giving to you. Be open to receive, alright?

13:14 And so, just as a summary, I want to share with you the first law is the Law of Value. How much value you can give to others without expecting a compensation back. Second law, Law of Compensation. How much you get compensated is determined by how much of an impact that you have, how many people you served, and how much you served them. Number three, Law of Influence. How much do you put other people’s interests ahead of your own? It’s not always 50/50 or split like a third, a third, a third. Really look out for other people’s interests, and it will come back to you. Number four, Law of Authenticity. Can you be your true self around other people? Law number five is Law of Receptivity. Please be open to receiving. That effective giving, in order to get something back and having a success and having the universe give you what you want and what you need, you have to be open to receiving, of course, right?

14:16 So please, today, why don’t you just pick one law? Or you can go serially. But start today. Apply one law at a time. Say, right now, think about something, a value, that you can provide to others without expecting something back. It doesn’t have to be money. It can be your presence. It can be — I don’t know — making somebody laugh. It can be connecting with your loved ones, your baby, your kids, your husband, sharing love, your wife, significant other, your parents perhaps. Just think of some value that you can provide to others without expecting any sort of money or compensation back. Tomorrow you do the Law of Compensation. Think about the impact that you can make. Think about if there’s any strategy that allows you to be able to impact multiple people at a time. Then the third day, Law of Influence. Put other people’s interests above yours. Fourth law, Law of Authenticity. Share your true beliefs with other people. And Law of Receptivity for the fifth day. Be open to receiving. When somebody asks you if you want to try something or treat you out, say yes. All right?

15:30 I hope that that was helpful for you to allow you to decrease any negative thoughts, any resistance. Because it’s hard doing things 50/50. It’s hard to having to keep track, to keep a tab on what’s been given and what’s been received. So please share this with your friends, your family. The show notes will be on itsnotrocketscienceshow.com. If you go to anntsungmd.com or itsnotrocketscienceshow.com, you can apply for the complimentary 60-minute coaching. As always, please feel free to review on iTunes or Spotify. I look at all of them. Leave me reviews just so I know what I can change or up level for you. You can check me out on the video format on YouTube as well. So thank you again for your presence, your attention. Remember that everything we need is within us now.

16:27 Announcer That’s it for today’s episode. Head on over to iTunes and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review in iTunes will win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a private VIP Day for a health and life makeover with Dr. Ann Tsung herself. Then be sure to head on over to itsnotrocketscienceshow.com and pick up your free gift from Dr. Tsung. Then join us on the next episode.